Mental HealthNutritionWeight Loss

You Are Fat, I Thought You Should Know

Last week when presenting at Hou.Sec.Con the first question asked to me was “How do you tell your partner or spouse they are fat and need to lose weight.” I admit to laughing as did most other people in the room.

My response was simple. “You don’t.” 

Everyone Is Different

I know several people that have experienced the weight-loss rollercoaster. Some people have had surgery to drop the pounds, while others have paid for a “medically supervised weight loss” program, where they eat less than 1,000 calories a day and need the doctor to provide missing nutrients. More commonly, many people join a weight loss program or follow a fad.

The Results?

The majority – not surprisingly – fail to keep the weight off long term. The people that have completed the weight loss surgery, while lighter, fail to actually eat better. So, while they might be down significantly in weight and probably no longer dealing with health issues such as heart disease and diabetes, they have failed to take control of their eating habits. For people that join weight loss programs or jump on a weight loss fad, they might push through the program to lose the weight, but as soon as the weight is off, they go back to old habits and the weight returns.

The Fix?

There isn’t a fix. Simply put, people aren’t born obese. People also don’t suddenly wake up obese. Something has happened or is going on in their life that has led them to the lifestyle they are living. So, if someone is obese, it is not your place to tell them. When it comes to lifestyle choices, it is up to the person affected to recognize the problem and commit to change it. 

Historically Speaking

I was probably 14 the first time I was told by a boy that I was fat. The problem? I actually wasn’t heavy back then. As I went through college, my weight crept up and as soon as I started sitting in an office, the weight kept coming. My grandfather told me in my twenties that I was fat. He was almost 90 at the time and thought nothing of his words.

What actually worked for me? I think it was a combination of things. Mainly being frustrated with work. I needed an outlet, so I started going to the gym. My trainer time was my disconnection. My nutrition reconstruction was something I could control. Something I wasn’t getting with my job/career.

As we all know, losing weight is easy. Just ask someone that has never had to lose it!

Keli Hay is a certified personal trainer using her weight loss success to help others.

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